In my family we celebrate birthdays by throwing a big bash for all the people born in a particular month or range of months. The December/January party was mom’s. She and I both had December birthdays – the same birthday, actually. Exactly thirty years apart.
Mom loved all holidays. My eldest niece likened her to Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. An elementary school teacher for over thirty years my mom was the teacher who would show up in earrings and a sweater to match whatever theme they were covering that week. When it came to holidays she was even more over the top and Christmas was her favorite. The house would be decorated down to the toilet paper. Scented candles burned on every surface not blanketed with gifts, festooned with garlands, or covered with Black Santas and Black angels.
The Dec/Jan birthday party was always held on Christmas Eve at our house. Mom would make gumbo, eggnog, and oatmeal raisin pecan cookies. People would bring sides and appetizers. We’d sing carols and happy birthday, open gifts, and generally have a blast. Then mom died and it all stopped.
I don’t think any of us realized how much of a linchpin my introverted Mom was to the social connections and gatherings of our family. Especially after Gradmama passed away. Mom left a hole. When we moved back I started hosting more family gatherings. I am introverted enough myself that this usually involved me hiding in my bedroom at some point. Or drinking. But I just wanted to hang out with my family.
When I started hosting the Dec/Jan birthdays I moved them to early January. I didn’t even want to attempt to reproduce the Christmas Eves my mother orchestrated. Maybe someday, I thought. But that isn’t going to happen now.
This year the party is on Epiphany, which is also the start of the Mardi Gras season. The gathering becomes more of a going away to the point where I almost forget we are celebrating birthdays, including my own. Tomorrow we start prepping for the packers who are due to arrive in three days. Perhaps it’s because of Lil Bit or maybe because we are all so much older it is considerably more difficult to leave this time around.