I spend a lot of time in Black and American Black* Facebook groups. Mostly Mom and Travel groups. Some well-meaning people who aren’t Black have asked me why. Or maybe they’re concerned I’m being radicalized. (If that’s the case, they really don’t know me.)
The answer is mainly because I feel seen, heard, and validated.
Don’t get me wrong. Black people, Black Americans, are not a monolith. I am a firm believer that, on the whole, people are assholes. Including myself. Despite what too many seem to believe, Black folks are people. You get your trolls, your hoteps, you encounter misogynoir. Even so they are safer, less stressful, places for me than out in America. Partially because, unlike the weaponized ignorance I encounter out in the world, I can turn it off. But, mostly, because they get it.
Too often, when I tell people who have not grown up Black in America about some of my experiences, I get push back.
Are you sure?
Maybe you misinterpreted the situation.
You’re being too sensitive.
I’m sure they didn’t mean it that way.
Okay, that was bad but not all (usually white) people are like that.
It only happened that one time. Okay, two times. Okay, three times.
You need to stand up for yourself.
You need to let things go.
Or they counter with their own stories of bigotry or prejudice at the hands of Black people.
But when I am in Black groups, I don’t have to defend myself. I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to point out the difference between personal bigotry and systemic racism. They listen. They hear me. They just get it.
*Black Americans whose ancestors did not immigrate to the US.