I was reading an article in which a psychologist said that a patient that comes to him and says, “My life is great. Wonderful family, decent job. I should be happy. But instead I feel an overwhelming anxiety/crushing depression.” This patient, said the psychologist, I can probably help.
But someone who comes to me and says, “I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. My neighborhood is unsafe for my kids but I can’t afford to move. I’ve been out of a job a while. This month I have to choose between food and rent.” That patient, said the psychologist, I can’t help.
If you are anxious and depressed because your life has gone to shit or because you are trying to process trauma what you are feeling is a perfectly logical reaction to your situation. More than anything you need help fixing your life. You need a job that pays a decent wage, a safe place to live, and, perhaps most of all, people you can trust who support you. I am not particularly religious, but a *good* church/mosque/temple/synagogue can be very helpful here.
I am not a therapist. These two previous posts and this one are my experience and my opinion. My anxiety eased as I gained more power in my life. Some of that was me but some of it was plain luck. I was lucky that I was able to change to better, and better paying, jobs. If my then boyfriend hadn’t left his high travel job, for reasons that had little to do with me, I doubt that we would be married today. I was fortunate to be able to tag along on his trips. For two years I had no medical insurance. If something had happened I would have been plunged into debt, at best. Even in this, I was lucky.
That said, if my parents had recognized my symptoms for what they were and gotten me help when I was a child I may not have had to endure years of anxiety and a major depressive episode. Anyone who says “It’s just in your head.” is being very dismissive of the brain.
Americans, even today, separate mental health from health. As if the two are different things. They aren’t. If you are suffering from anxiety, depression, are trying to process trauma, dealing with addiction, or feel things have gotten out of control- seek help. If you know someone going through this, first of all, lay off. You can’t force someone to be who you want them to be. Second, support them. And most importantly, seek help.
In the US you can find more information through the NAMI HelpLine or the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), an agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. In the US and parts of Canada there is 2-1-1. For expats here in Denmark an incomplete list of psychotherapists in Denmark who are also expats themselves can be found here. You have to scroll down a bit.