Back from home almost a week now and just starting to get over the jetlag. Part of that is the jetlag is just harder on me now that I am older. The other part of that is Lil Bit and the jetlag also kicking her little butt. A butt she is absolutely fascinated with, by the way. I have been around little kids enough to expect the whole butts are funny thing but I have never seen a kid quite so enamored with her own posterior. But, I digress.
Since I have been home I have been struggling to think of something to write. Then I read two dichotomous posts from moms in two different mom groups I belong to. The first was from a ten year expat home from a visit to her birth country. In it she says, “(So many things) the language, the break in the monotony that is my life, the variety of everything that doesn’t exist here, seeing my family, the memory of the hope I once had that life could be different…” are making her question her decision to make a life in her adopted country – the country that is home to her partner and kids.
The second is from a mom in the US. In her post she writes about how her children’s illnesses and issues have caused her to miss work every week for the past several weeks. She hadn’t worked more than three days in a week in over a month and a half. The days “off” were unpaid so her check was short meaning some bills simply won’t be paid. All of the time away from work means that her job is in jeopardy but she still needs to take more time to deal with her son’s continuing issues. Not to mention we are rolling into cold and flu season. She can’t not work full time and she can’t not be there for her children.
These two posts illustrate two of the reasons why, especially fresh back from my trip, I both ache to go home yet find it difficult to imagine ever truly living there again. It is unclear whether the mom in the second post has a partner but, regardless, if she lived in just about any other developed country than the US she would be far more supported by the system. While every country still had strides to make the capacity of this woman to support her family, both financially and emotionally, would expand exponentially in a place where it is encouraged to take the time to do the things you need to do for your family. This is part of the reason that so many people who can leave the US.
Those of us that do leave the US, or whatever home country we have, behind us are faced with trying to adapt to a drastically different physical and cultural environment and often mastering a new language. As expats we end up with a scattered network of acquaintances. We will always miss somewhere or someone. Personally, I also miss the assortment of diverse cultural options that are available even in my small Southern city. Someone else may miss the comfort of the sameness they have left behind.
On the other hand, while being African American means I have always somewhat viewed American (white) culture from an outside perspective living abroad takes this to a new and different level. From here I can see why I value what I do and even some the reasons behind the way I interact with the world. It gives me a different understanding about “how it is”. Everything becomes “this is how it is right here”. With this perspective comes both less judgment and stronger, deeper principles.
Meanwhile, Lil Bit is still struggling with jetlag so my own schedule is all off. So I will end this post here and with an announcement that there will be a rearrangement of post timing. From now on I will post once a week on Fridays with reviews and Rena’s Web on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month. Bonus posts will be on Sundays. More later on ALL of this. (Possibly on Sunday!)