For the last episode of season one of the Magic Lessons podcast Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame has author and professor Brené Brown on. Brown’s book Rising Strong had either just come out or was coming out soon. From goodreads, “(Rising Strong) tells us what it takes to get back up, and how owning our stories of disappointment, failure, and heartbreak gives us the power to write a daring new ending. Struggle, Brené Brown writes, can be our greatest call to courage, and rising strong our clearest path to deeper meaning, wisdom, and hope.”
The Magic Lessons podcast is in support of Gilbert’s latest book Big Magic. From the Big Magic site “With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives.” In the podcast Gilbert selects creatives who are struggling in their creative endeavors and speaks with them guiding them through, or at least leading them to recognize barriers that are in their paths. She then takes the problem to an “expert” to get his or her take on it.
Disclaimer: I am not being paid by Gilbert, Brown, or anyone at all. Unfortunately. As a matter of fact I am not even a particular fan of the insanely popular Eat, Pray, Love and frankly do not understand why some of the women I know have such a passionate connection to the book. But this whole transition has been more of a struggle for me than I anticipated. Anxiety and its ugly bedmate depression are gnawing on the edges of my self. Sometimes I look at the pieces of me and do not recognize them, much less know how to fit them together properly. I know enough now to get myself back in therapy. Also, there is way more access to information than the last time I went through this and in seeking answers among the online therapy tools, the meditation apps, I discovered this podcast.
These posts aren’t going to be a review of the podcast so much as an exploration of creativity. But the podcast, this particular episode, is what led me here so I want to talk about it first. In the conversation Brown says that the only unique contribution that each of us will make to this world will be born of creativity. We are all creative and, if unused, creativity is not benign. It is a festering open wound that metastasizes into feelings of negativity and grief that eat away at us both emotionally and, ultimately, physically.
In Brown’s research for her previous work eighty-five percent (85%) of the people she interviewed remembered an event so shaming it altered the trajectory of their lives. For half of those people that shame came directly from an attempt to do something arty. Half. This is a huge problem for several reasons. One, unused creativity is poisonous. Second, while the podcast defines creativity as the arts- dancing, painting, singing, writing, that sort of thing, creativity is not just limited to those things. Creativity is integral to every aspect of our lives. To everything we do, that we are. Everything. Math, science, even history. Someone had to think, does 2+2 always equal 4? Someone had to wonder what the people who weren’t in charge thought of the time period. Third, while creativity is part of every aspect of who we are arty stuff has its own power. Learning music makes our brains more adaptable and able to process math and language. Expressive writing boosts the immune system. The creation of visual art enhances brain function. As for dancing, the physical benefits are obvious.
Lastly, the suppression or destruction of creativity is also dangerous. Creativity is the basis for empathy. The ability to see or understand things from another person’s perspective. Creativity is the foundation for our ability to connect to other people. We link creativity to art then treat art as though it is superfluous. No, we treat art, and thus creativity, as though it is something destructive, deviant. Something wicked.
This is harmful not just because we may be shutting down the fantastic ideas of the next Mileva Marić but because the antidote to shame is empathy. Compassion. Empathy for others and compassion for ourselves. We all have shame. Some of mine stems from being bullied quite a bit in elementary school. I don’t remember much about it. A lot of that part of my memory is shut down. Having Mom’s self-hatred aimed at me, her little doppelgänger, wasn’t a particularly healthy either. Plus a few other events, circumstances, experiences.
When we feel shame we feel badly about who we are. Forgiving ourselves is one of the most powerful steps we can take to rid ourselves of the crippling effects of shame and self-forgiveness is the key to creativity. If we don’t heal our shame we can end up in a negative spiral of distorted thinking. In healing our shame we are able to see ourselves more clearly. We can see the good in us, the positives that shame blinds us to. Our relationship with ourselves will improve and, by extension, our relationships with others.
The good news is that we don’t have to conquer our shame in order to be creative. Creativity is a basic part of us. Humanity has been creating, questioning, pushing at our reality for tens of thousands of years. The impetus to unleash our imaginations and express ourselves is deeply human. By simply delving into and expressing our creative selves in whatever task or adventure fuels our passions we are taking the first steps to becoming better people.
But in pursuing our creative endeavors, whether they be in physics or pottery, we must learn to be kind to ourselves. Brown goes on to say that we must learn to talk to ourselves the way we talk to and support the people we love. When we make mistakes we tend to denigrate and castigate ourselves. “Fuck, Rena, you’re so stupid!” “Can’t you do anything right?” Sound familiar?
In writing about affirmations and visualizations we discovered that both are linked to the idea that the subconscious mind cannot differentiate between what is real and what is imagined. We also learned that our internal sense of self is a powerful thing. Rather than fight a perception like shame directly we can instead focus on the positive we already believe thereby strengthening positive patterns and weakening negative ones. We don’t want to turn off our internal critic, we just need to make sure our criticism is healthy and not destructive. The important part is releasing and exploring our creativity. The question of whether to share it with the rest the world is a whole other blog post.