When I was first in college I tried to be practical with my art and applied to the school’s graphic design program. One of the professors was obsessed with shades of grey. I don’t have a very good eye for greys. Where I excel, to the point that it is almost a detriment, is my ability to see colors. At least in part because I see so many colors my paintings tended to the dark. I am much the same in my thinking patterns, overwhelmed with all the possibilities which invariably take me down a dark and dismal path. Which is why this week I’ll be talking about my own cross to bear, catastrophic thinking.
There is some overlap between the dichotomous and catastrophic thinking. In catastrophic thinking we exaggerate the consequences of a situation while in dichotomous thinking we take the negative to the extremes. Dichotomous thinking is almost supernatural in nature looking for signs of if/then. If she doesn’t call me today then she is having an affair. Catastrophic thinking starts with the affair then looks for evidence to support it.
A good illustration of catastrophic thinking comes from something that actually happened to someone I love dearly. The scene:
A young, teenaged, boy is luxuriating in having the space he normally shares with his two older brothers all to himself when he hears a knock on the door. Not waiting for a reply his father pokes his head in the room. “Son, we need to have a talk.”
His mind on the porn stash hidden under his bed – it was the early 90s – the son rolls his eyes and replies, “This isn’t the sex talk, is it? Because it’s a bit late for that. Unless you have any questions?”
The father, checks the hallway to see if his wife heard that then comes fully into the room blushing and stammering, “Do you mean to say- Never mind. I don’t want to know. This is about life.” The father composes himself and sits at the desk. “Son, you are going to be out in the world soon and out there you have to always be ready for the worst.”
Taking a seat on his tartan bedspread the son asks, “You mean, like saving money for a rainy day?”
The father looks down, gripping his knees. He meets his son’s eyes and lifts one hand in a sharp, downward gesture. “No. I mean you have to be ready for terrible things to happen. For example, on your wedding night, the happiest day of your life, you have to be prepared for your new bride to tell you she doesn’t love you.”
Son, “Damn, Dad.”
Also called magnifying those of us who have a problem with catastrophic thinking magnify things way out of proportion. Catastrophizing is a belief that something is far worse than it really is. If a person I love is out late at night I start to imagine horrible accidents and become half convinced they are mortally injured. If my husband is out with his buddies I sleep fitfully, if at all, until I hear his keys in the lock. When I was home I did the same thing with my dad. Only in the US it’s worse because I am no longer used to the levels of, and focus on, violent crime that are so acceptable there. Not to mention the readily available guns. Don’t even get me started on driving!
Catastrophizing can have several causes. Genetics most likely plays a part. The habenula is a pair of small nuclei located above the thalamus at its posterior end close to the midline. It is known as the crossroad between the basal ganglia and the limbic system which I simply refer to as the lizard brain. Previously linked to depression, the habenula has shown in studies to be connected to symptoms such as low motivation, pessimism and focusing on negative experiences. A hyperactive habenula may be why certain people have a propensity toward unnaturally unfavorable expectations.
In most cases there are three categories that often serve as triggers for these unnaturally unfavorable expectations: ambiguity, love, and fear. Ambiguity allows the catastrophizor to aim for the worst possible scenario. This is especially true when it pertains to someone we love. Fear is pretty self-explanatory. All of these have in common a lack of control. We want to keep ourselves and our relationships safe in a world filled with uncertainty and tragedy. Because we can’t control the world we obsess about preparing for every possibility.
As Sally Tamarkin perfectly put it over on Buzzfeed:
Basically, you feel like shit’s about go down — in your life or in the world — and it’s so jarring that your usual coping mechanisms don’t work, leaving you unable to process whatever happened or even think rationally about what to do next. At the extreme end we really do think and believe that these worst-case scenarios are imminent and inescapable. Whatever nightmarish hellscape you’re conjuring up feels totally in sync with your reality.
Like most distorted thinking patterns for many of us catastrophizing starts out as a defense mechanism. As I pointed out above the thing that ambiguity, love, and fear have in common is a lack of control. Feeling a lack of power in our lives. By imagining and preparing for the worst possible scenario we, at the very least, won’t be taken by surprise.
There are several problems with this. One is the catastrophizing reward system. This is when an expected catastrophic event doesn’t happen or is not as bad as we thought. That relief we feel rewards our catastrophizing, our fear, which only reinforces it thereby making it more likely to come back. On top of this our unconscious mind doesn’t distinguish emotionally between what we imagine and what really happens. Basically, as far as our minds are concerned, the amygdala, that lizard brain again, is thinking that this is really happening. The result is even when we avoid them in real life we live through bad experiences multiple times.
By constantly anticipating the worst we are always living in a state of heightened stress. During times of stress the nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. The heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and senses become sharper. In the short term this can be a good thing. These physical changes heighten strength and stamina, speed reaction time, and increase focus—preparing for fight or flight from the danger at hand. Stress can help us rise to meet challenges. However, the nervous system does not distinguish between emotional and physical threats.
Prolonged stress like the kind that we catastrophizors inflict upon ourselves weakens nearly every system in the body. Many of the most lethal illnesses and long-term health problems in the developed world are linked directly to stress. High blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, stroke, obesity, even insomnia can be related chronic stress. It can even rewire the brain, leaving us even more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
Ultimately catastrophic thinking produces the very consequence we’re trying to avoid. At the extreme end it is worse than depression. It’s despair. A loss of hope and a feeling of utter powerlessness in which we just give up. We stop taking care of ourselves and others and our inaction actually makes everything, including our anxiety, worse.
Signs of catastrophizing include always feeling on edge. Stress is the general state of the body, mind, and emotions when an environmental stressor has triggered the stress response. But the idea stress only comes from environmental stressors ignores the fact that we are not purely rational creatures. If that were the case we would have no distorted thinking in the first place. The world is hard. Our lizard brains tell us to be on guard against the unknown because millions of years of evolution tells us that there is danger there even when our rational minds know that we are safe. The problem is there are always unknowns.
As the t-shirt says, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t out to get you. But if we constantly find ourselves thinking that those around us are plotting are plotting our downfall then we are either in abusive relationships or we are sabotaging ourselves by catastrophizing. Another sign is being afraid of being honest with loved ones. Fearing that even small arguments or boundary setting will destroy our relationships. On top of being exhausting it’s easy to develop resentment if we always feel that we are suppressing ourselves.
For me catastrophizing translates into feeling helpless, vulnerable, and completely overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that as an introvert I am a highly sensitive person. This doesn’t mean that I am an empath or even nice. All it means is that I, like most introverts, am more sensitive to outward stimuli. I like to compare it to an adrenaline junky and a regular dude. Danger triggers the brain to release a bunch of chemicals like norepinephrine and endorphins that make us feel high. An adrenaline junky needs more stimulation to get the same rush that a normal person would get just driving in New Jersey. Introverts need a lot less stimulation to get to that same place.* For me the rush of negative emotion, the onslaught of stress, leaves me feeling too tense to deal with things. Instead I push them aside while still obsessing about them. After days, weeks, or even months of gut-wrenching dread, I finally crumple under the strain.
So, now I know what to call this shit going down in my brain what do I do about it? We’ll cover that next post.
*Yes, there are introverted adrenaline junkies. Also, introversion is a range. The brain is a complicated place.
Sources here.