Originally this post was going to be titled Apples and Oranges. The topic was going to be why people struggle so much with the notion that two things can be different yet still be equal. As it turns out this is a much deeper discussion than I had anticipated. Frankly, I simply don’t have the time to whip out my white belt in Google fu and go to town on this one right now. Why?
We are leaving Denmark. Things didn’t work out. When my husband took this job he was quite straightforward about his needs. He had his own business but he was working all the time. He wanted something with good work life balance so he could spend time with his family. What better place than Denmark? They said. So he happily signed his thirty-seven hour a week contract. And over the Atlantic he came.
To find an office full of over stressed, overworked people doing a job which required regular dealings with people generously described as hostile. An environment in which bullying was tolerated and camaraderie a thin and often forced veneer. He was working forty-five to fifty hour plus weeks and traveling a third of the time. He didn’t have to leave the US for this kind of work atmosphere.
Eventually, though, almost everything else was pretty wonderful. Sure, I was s-o-l in the school and work department but I knew I would eventually figure something out. The apartment was fabulous: the light, the courtyard, the neighborhood, the neighbors. We were a fifteen minute walk to the beach and a five minute walk to one of the biggest parks in the city. Lil Bit loved her school, her teachers, and was making lots of friends. SM was sailing in the summer, hitting the gym, and even took up running. I met a few wonderful ladies and felt I was starting to get my feet under me.
Then, one day over dinner, SM informed me that he felt if he didn’t start spending a lot more time at the office they were going to let him go. Sure, he was putting in ten plus hours over what he contracted for and brought his laptop so he could, and did, work during vacation. But other people were putting in sixty plus hours a week. They were sending out emails at two a.m. on a Sunday morning. They were working holidays and weekends. That, he told me, is what he would have to do to just secure his position. To move up would require even more of a time commitment. We agreed that that was a terrible option for our family.
We are fortunate. We have options. But all of the options that would allow us to stay here in Copenhagen, or Europe, require my husband continue to do this kind of work. We agree that that is a terrible option for our family.
So, we are heading back to the US. But on the way back we’ll stop at a place or six and it will be my delight to tell you all about it.