One thing that will stand out to anyone who has spent time on the RoK is the drinking culture. In Korea alcohol is seen as a permission slip that allows behaviors of all sorts to be pardoned. This is probably why Korea is the only country in Asia that consistently breaks, and often tops, the top ten list for biggest drinkers in the world. When we arrived in Korea my brother was still there so we were inducted into his circle of friends right away. The first few nights were a soju blur after which I asked my brother if this was a normal weekend in Korea. His response was that they usually didn’t drink in such nice places.
The small size of the expat communities in the two areas we lived in before Seoul, Jeju and outside of Suwon, encouraged a certain camaraderie. They were so small, in fact, that almost all of we foreigners knew one another by face at the least. When we saw a Western looking stranger on the street or heard someone speak ‘native’ accented English we reached out to them because we knew they were new.
For Koreans in those places we were one of the few non-Koreans that many of the locals would interact with in their lifetimes. The locals we encountered were for the most part curious, friendly, and generous. It’s amazing how much communication can be done with a handful of words, lots of body language, and the lubrication of some local makgeolli. One of my Korean friends referred to her people as the Italians of Asia due to their magnanimous natures, wonderful food, and freedom in emoting.
Even ignoring the small towns the native English speaking (NES) expat community in Korea is unique. There are three main groups: the Engish teachers, the United States military, and the business folk which includes embassy people. The vast majority of NES expats are U.S. military and defense contractors or English teachers. In Seoul the military people and the business workers tend to stick to themselves, for the most part. The teachers are further divided into three categories: university instructors, people who work with the public school system, people who work for the private schools or hagwons.
Regardless of where they teach NES English teachers in Korea must hail from native English speaking countries and have at least the equivalent of an undergraduate university degree. Socioeconomically this makes for a very homogenous population. When people of a similar age got together, regardless of race or nationality, there were always pop culture childhood touchstones that we had in common. Mostly thanks to the ubiquity of Hollywood. Add this strange intimacy to a drinking culture in which drunkenness was not just a goal but a journey and you wind up with some interesting connections.
Things are very different for us here in Denmark. Europeans drink more than anyone in the world and there is a definitely a drinking culture here in Denmark. As in Korea, and just about everywhere else the stuff is consumed, alcohol in Denmark is used to allow people to loosen up. Being both older and parents we simply cannot participate in the booze fueled social life here the way we did in Korea.
In Korea standing out as a foreigner meant that you met other foreigners. Even in Seoul, once you left the enclaves of Itaewon, Hongdae, or Myeong Dong, an obvious Westerner stood out as a beacon for other foreigners. Not so much here. For our entire time in Korea we both worked at the same institutions. For nearly half that time we did the same work.
Now we live very different lives. Hubs, the more gregarious of us, goes to work each day while I stay home with Lil Bit. I know no-one here and am living in somewhat isolated circumstance. Having Lil Bit means that anything we do together has to be toddler friendly. Moms here work outside the home putting their kids in care by the time they are Lil Bit’s age. Parks are empty during the week. There are no happy encounters with strangers turning into beautiful friendships.
However, it’s early days yet.